Maybe it's my fault since I let the heart bleed. Well then, how are you doing just out of curiosity? Are you with someone, or are you alone? Do you read? I spent the first five years hiding from the world and fell back on my needs. I am doing better until someone decides to ask. You leaving me was like a kick to the groin.Įven though you cheated, my head thought past that. Years passed, and even the air between us was annoyed. We fell in love after my first apartment. You had organizing skills that Marshall's would employ. Indignant and livid thinking, what's the point? Sadly repulsion is something no one can avoid. I sit waiting for recovery as you are out there in life, amused. Now I can't help but realize my emotions were abused. We grow up being told crying is a weakness and to have the tears consumed. I want to feel, but as a man, you're not supposed to. Crazy how you decided to have my soul towed. Despite your weight gain, you were still my Marilyn Monroe. Why stab a man who gives his all? You really set the bar that low! I had my hands together like the Allstate Logo. Gaslighting them until all they can do is surrender. You play mind tricks as you torment whoever. It's been almost a decade, and I still can't get closure. Through the love and affection that I handed over. Apparently, I'm transparent because you saw me right through. Observing life for a house to own and walk into. I was stuck living a fantasy that I ignored the truth.
Being naïve, thinking our relationship was held up by glue. I used to go out and loved it too, but that idea was discontinued after you.
I thought it was what I had, but it went away like holding sand. It's not the labor but the love that makes a man. Trying to manage agony but it's worse than a cramp. As I deal with a drunk man screaming bitch. Take a couple of minutes to explain the message. Going outside leads to being passive-aggressive. I watch happiness everywhere, and yet I'm dissolving. Like Chester Bennington, my demons are Crawling. I would paint the pain, but I wouldn't like that drawing. My thoughts are congested like Shibuya Crossing. Then again, I confuse myself like questions from the police. Strange because I confessed to her as if she was a Priest. I would love to text or call, but she's out of reach, but then I don't for the next couple of weeks. But the truth is I carry dread like a belt. Trying to switch the attention to something else. It's been nine years, and I can't shake it off. Yet the memories flood in as if I forgot. While you were fucking and lying simultaneously.ĭamn. It's been nine years since the breakup, and I can't seem to let her go.ĭays drag like a bag of laundry. Twenty years and our relationship became one cupid opposed. An irritation like a bite from a mosquito. Time goes on, and I find myself scrolling through my photos.
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